Facebook
I'm a pretty secure person. Not much really makes me nervous these days, much less full-fledgedly insecure, and it doesn't really bother me if I'm left out of a group because there are so many places I fit. And I have never felt old in a negative way.
So imagine my surprise when I found myself actually really, really insecure, feeling ugly, old and out of it after visiting Facebook.
I'd heard a lot about Facebook and actually did the little sign-in-for-an-account-thing a few days ago but only found time to look around last night. Nearly everyone was under twenty-five, freakin' hot or both. I did not know a single person on there to poke (whatever that is, but it looks like fun and is reserved for those elite young, beautiful people who do know other young, beautiful people on the site.). I should rephrase that, I did know people on the site, but not a single one who was not a former or present student. Not even in the Riverview or Campus Crusade groups.
Wah.
Idaho and Other Summer Events
In the stall of the women's restroom in the Pheonix Museum of Art.
Joey, Pete and Clark simply can't believe the unadulterated coolness of the Red Bull VW bug.
Opps, a sideways pic of a stunning river in the Idaho mountains.
More forest fire pics. The great thing about traveling with my parents--neither of them will let me drive.
Go west young woman! Me standing on the continental divide atop the Lemhi Pass. Probably near where Lewis & Clark went over?
Do you really want to know?
With the 'rents at Sacajwea's birthplace.
More Idaho Pics for Your Viewing Pleasure
Me on a really big rock out in a river. Whoowho!
Um, the reenacting of Sacajawea returning to her people and Lewis & Clark getting horses to go on.
My adorable parentals.
A somewhat interesting forest fire along the drive.
Just gorgeous.
The parents' ranch. Please note the small white building--it's for the chickens and goose.
They have a genuine dinner triangle to get each other's attention. My mom did do great things with colorful gravel patterns since grass growing is futile. Can you kinda see them?
First Day of School
I am a very tired cookie. And I did not run today (I cannot believe there was once a time I ran four or five miles a day). I ran/walked yesterday and it was painful in a way that made me never want to do it again so I suppose that made it good for me.
Also got to play SuperNintendo across the street. I liked the Star Wars games and Streetfighter more than Super Mario, but it was all fun. A nice change from another rented movie.
Speaking of which, I have a chick flick in my posession. I think of chick flicks as emotional porn most of the time and have to watch my consumption carefully. I'm doing really well getting over my dating burn out (given, it's only been since Saturday that I decided to go cold turkey), but the past few months (years?) of constant almost-but-not-quites definately upset my chi ( I have no idea what chi is and have a feeling a good christian girl ought not have one or imagine she does, but hey, that's where I am with it)
Ok, so, school. First day down. It was good. I like my classes and other than some balky ones, I'm thinking it'll be a good year. One hour is chatty and I may have to squelch them, but I don't think I'll have to go all Wicked Witch.
As for the magnetic poetry, please arrange the following words into a sentence:
face
shivering
your
push
touch
my
liquid
rocketship
to
See the issue? There is no stopping the adolescent mind. I know when I'm beat.
It does concern me though that several students decided I couldn't be an English/Drama/Theatre teacher since I have a science classroom with sinks and tables and electrical outlets hanging from the ceiling. Several thought they were in science twice, one kept trying to convince me I taught math (we had to look at her schedule to convince her otherwise.), and several walked in sat down, looked at me in my pearls, heels and earthy-red Donna-Reedesque dress and said "Mr. Pulver?"
Not on my worst day (or his worst day) do we look remotely alike. And if I ever have to teach physics I will throw myself out of my one small window.
It's a God-given gift that I get to love my job and play with teenagers all day. I think it's gonna be a good year.
Happy Meals
Happy Meals make me happy. When I was out west with my parents we ended up at Micky D's before our float trip (this is floating down a river in an innertube completely clothed. A truly fine way to see Idaho). I toodled off to the bathroom after asking Mom to order me a cheeseburger happy meal with orange drink. She did as requested but giggled when I pulled out and assembled the toy.
Now you have to understand, I'm not in it for the toy. I give those away or leave them places small-to-medium children might find them. What I want is a way to avoid ordering off the dollar menu. For $3.17 I can have a small fry, cheeseburger, kid-size orange drink and a toy. For $3.29 I can have a medium fry, double cheeseburger and small drink (but I really prefer water so it's only $2.11 for the medium fry and dbl. cheeseburger). If I were a 120 lb. high school hottie who played volleyball three times a week it would be one thing (and I'd go economical). As a nearly 30 year-old who battles with her waistline and hates running, the happy meal is the way to go, dime be damned.
Besides, who doesn't like a toy surprise?
Sunday & Stressed
Today I feel tense. I'll go get some excercise shortly and hopefully remove some of that, but overall I am stressed.
There's an issue with my MA degree. Pray it gets resolved in my favor. Otherwise, I don't know what I'll do.
I did get to talk to Tom today. It's strange to hear my 26 year old baby bro sounding so grown up and doing so much in so many countries so far away. I am not however the best conversationalist at the moment as I am S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D. Still it was good to hear his voice and find out how he's doing.
Continuing, tomorrow is the first day of school. I've been so busy I haven't even had time to have teacher dreams (these are the dreams in which I walk in prepared to teach English and discover I have been assigned to teach AP Physics. Or have no pants. Or forget to go to school).
On the bright side, Yi helped me set up my room on Friday so it really is ready to go, I almost have enough subs I trust to cover my year and she also loaned me
Searching for God Knows What which is the sequel to
Blue Like Jazz (which I have not read) and I hope will not be as disappointing as
Wild at Heart (Yes, yes, men are meant to be wild and I need to be supportive of that animalistic need to take risks. Rarrh.).
I also partially despotted the carpet in the living room. I feel accomplished.
Scary Meg 2
The Library Rules!
Did you know the library has a rule that you can't sleep longer than 15 minutes in it? And you can only use the restroom for simple personal care-- bathing, shaving and doing laundry in it are expressly prohibited?
The twerp in me asks how they'd feel about an alarm clock.
The more Christ-like part of me is deeply saddened.
Soulmates
Hmmm.... do I believe in such a thing?
I don't think so. It seems there are people who just kinda magically connect, but I don't think that's the way it works for everyone.
Someone recently told me the longer it takes for you to "know" that someone is right for you the more problems there will be long term. I think I can get on board with that. Things stay simpler if they start with a pretty good base of simple, right?
I don't know.
I think I believe people can find people who they "click" well with who also are at the same place, like similar things, think kinda alike and are ready to fall in love and make commitments at the same time and all this is under God's general plan, but to think there is just one person out there whom I may or may not meet based on sin, personal growth and the time/space continum is a little much for me.
Yet so many people seem to beleive just that. How about you? Do you believe in the concept of soulmates? Why or why not?
Productive Day
Yep. It has been a productive day. I will elaborate tomorrow.
However, I seem to have figured out the photo thing. Sort of. I got a pic posted, but not where I wanted and I'm not sure I could replicate the process. I think I need help.
Maybe saying I've figured it out is premature.
Guy Bonding/Girl Celebrations
Guys are weird. I like them just fine as their weird little selves, but they still are. The whole "quality time is sitting in a room and doing completely seperate activities without talking"-thing is especially bizarre.
Ok, so the secret last night was a celebration of my getting an MA by the bible study girls. Wow! I'm not usually an occasion type of girl, but this was great. I think it was the element of surprise combined with people I really enjoy. Courtney picked me up at 6:45 and drove me off into the sunset to ECTC Bakery out on Chandler (it's odd, every time I drive by that development I remember when it was a swampy airport). Good food, good friends, good fun,white roses, Barnes & Noble, and a mini gong:) Thanks gals!
Sooo tired....
Conversation between myself and a person who shall remain unnamed:
Person: Hey, how's it going?
Me (out loud)(kindly): Fine. What's up?
Me (in my head, sighingly): How long is this going to take?
Person: Nothing much, just seeing how the room was coming and spreading the joy of academic achievement--we made safe harbor in reading this year ya know? (yes, this is really the response)
Me (OL)(with raised eybrows): That's good.
Me (IMH, rationally): I don't believe in standardized testing as an indicator of a school's success and don't really want to tell you that or this will be a very long conversation.
Person: So just coming around to say good work and inspire you in the great job you're doing.
Me (OL): Thanks.
Me (IMH): I DON'T NEED TO BE INSPIRED, I NEED TIME TO SORT THROUGH MY MAGNETIC POETRY AND REMOVE WORDS LIKE "tickle" and "pickle" and "grope" BECAUSE I HAVE SOPHMORES ARRIVING IN THREE DAYS !!!!!!
Current Mood:
determined
On Wednesday
Something's up and I don't know what. But I trust the people who seem to have it up, so I'll just wait and be surprised.
Past that, I got a yellow wristband today from my principal that looks a lot like a Live Strong bracelet but isn't. It's a Holt High School bracelet.
I've avoided the Live Strong bracelets on principle because they seem so trendy and have for the most part lost meaning. People wear them because they're in fashion (and truthfully, on the way out of fashion), not because they mean something.
I have the softest, prettiest cat in the world.
I wish they'd open up the part of S. Washington Avenue that's been closed since May. It's quite done. I drove down it today, illegally and in the wrong lane.
Finally, perhaps it's not my hormones that set off the crying. I realized yesterday that it was the one year anniversary of Alysha and Robbie's deaths. So much. So much.
Current Mood:
perplexed
Mildly Envious
Blogspot.com has prettier pages and I'm kinda wishing I was doing that. Perhaps I will. Yi seems to be maintaining on both sites--I'll have to ask her how when we go out for breakfast Friday.
So it was district day at school. This is possibly my least favorite day of the year. First there are no kids(the fun part of the job). Then, it's impersonal while trying to pretend to be personal, has lots of information primarily designed to tell us how badly the school is doing and motivating us to do...something. Then they feed us (the good part) and we get to go get done everything we need to get done. I got oriented to my extremely messy science classroom. It's messy because I'm nowhere near done unpacking (anyone want to stick up magnetic poetry or put my classroom library on shelves before Monday? I'll be there constantly!).
I also broke down and bought a new soap dispensing dish wand thingy today. I love my one that looks like a flower, but I gave up hope of finding replacement pads for it and it's pretty nasty just now. I like the new one though--it has a little blue button to push for more soap. Great how gimmicks get me isn't it?
Had and elaborate and impromptu dinner tonight with Mark, Carmen and Scott. Good times. I've never spent so much time thinking and talking about corn.
Current Mood:exhausted
Weirdo
Ok, my hormones must be off or something, because I was driving down the highway today listening to a country song about a teenager with cancer and I broke into sobbing tears. This is not like me. THen I went to kroger for double sided tape and, diet-be-damned, Ben & Jerry's Phish Phood Frozen Yogurt. They didn't have either, so I bought regular tape and The Gobfather and paid quickly before I was overwhelemed by sniffles again. Oh, this is so not good.
Past that, it has been a productive day and I go back to work tomorrow. It's hard to know what to write here. The deep stuff shouldn't be just displayed on a public page, but that's what I really like about some other blogs I read. Also, how much of any story is mine to tell? I suppose it's a self-indulgent activity, but so is ice cream.
Current Mood:
relaxed
Waking Up
Ok, the jackhammer this morning at 8 was less than exciting. After laying there for a while asking for divine intervention, I gave up and got up. Now I am hungry.
On other topics, somehow I find baseball somewhat less annoying than most sports. Now don't get me wrong--Football (off the european kind--soccer) is the best thing out there--but I was in a conversation over at the Peanut Barrel on Thursday about baseball, was in the Lugnuts stadium last night, saw a segement on some early show and am watching Drew Barrymore talk about her romantic comedy(Fever Pitch), I kinda find myself wanting to go to a game. Wonder how long that will last.
Current Mood:
awake
Current Music:
Lemonheads
Waking Up
Ok, the jackhammer this morning at 8 was less than exciting. After laying there for a while asking for divine intervention, I gave up and got up. Now I am hungry.
On other topics, somehow I find baseball somewhat less annoying than most sports. Now don't get me wrong--Football (off the european kind--soccer) is the best thing out there--but I was in a conversation over at the Peanut Barrel on Thursday about baseball, was in the Lugnuts stadium last night, saw a segement on some early show and am watching Drew Barrymore talk about her romantic comedy(Fever Pitch), I kinda find myself wanting to go to a game. Wonder how long that will last.
Current Mood:
awake
Current Music:
Lemonheads
Cinderella
I just got back from Cinderella Man at Lugnuts Stadium. What a pleasant way to spend time. Fresh air, good friends, people beating the crap out of each other, a for-better-or-worse love story...what more could a girl want?
Past that, I am thankful for self-cleaning litterboxes and time with Emily. True to form, no sooner had we settled into couches in Expresso Royale than I bobbled my cup and spilled my ENTIRE sticky-sweet raspberry vanilla cappucino directly between my legs where it quickly absorbed into my jeans and all that was underneath. At least I ordered a small.
It shows just how close a friend Emily is that she was compassionate but not surprised. She even came back to my house with me to let me shower and change before dinner. What a good woman!
I think I'm excited about that new fall show "Invasion". Looks like alien fun. Yippee!
Current Mood:
loved
Current Music:
SG1
Sunday
I feel much better after church and an afternoon of socializing with Germany people and Quarterlife Leadership.
There's something so powerful about worshipping together, an entire crowd singing praise. We were singing the song that goes "The Lord is good to those/to those who wait for him/Oh, I will be still and I will know that you are God...". It just rattles up something inside me. Or perhaps it's like opening my hand and pushing steadily through bread dough, but instead through myself. I do sometimes feel as though God is pushing on me to make himself known and I just feel it instead of being able to logically think through it as usual.
Current Mood:
pensive
Current Music:
STP--Plush
Today
I watched "The Village" last night. Decent flick, but didn't measure up to my standards for a good twist. Reminded me of something my parents would do though. And it seemed like there was an underlying idea that maybe something was out there--I got that from the deleted scenes not the movie proper. Eh, not a waste of money but I wouldn't buy it.
Past that I'm a little sad since I got back from Idaho. I got a pretty nasty email from the guy I was dating this spring and now I really just want to sit around in my bathrobe eating tomato soup and banana splits. I'd thought it had ended quietly and was just kinda numb about it.
Current Mood:
blank
Current Music:
Star Wars Soundtrack
Aging
Interesting tidbits from my Aunt Kay's morning email today (used without her permission, but I'm sure she wouldn't mind:) They were at a pre-retirement planning seminar and these are a few sound bites they picked up:
"We all have four ages:Chronological - yearsPhysiological - how we feelPsychological - how old you see yourselfSociological - who do you associate with?He said the most common problem for recent retirees... is they miss the socialization of the workplace and he urged the ....people to think about that before they chose to leave the lively workplace.He told us about many studies. Here are the results of one:A survey asked a wide variety of people, "are you old?". Here's the response rate per age group:20-30 2 %30-40 4%40-50 16%50-60 38%60-70 39.5 %70 - 80 30%80 2% !!!!(Uncle) Ron had a key insight for many of us in the 50's. Things don't work the way they used to, so that makes us feel old. I guess by the time you hit the 80's the mechanics are so broken down who cares!!!"
Fun stuff, eh? Thanks Aunt!
Current Mood:
thoughtful
Current Music:
CBS Saturday Morning Show
It's also Sock Puppet Assertiveness Day.
I have no desire to express myself through a sock puppet.
Current Mood:
confused
Home
ithacaorozHome
Michael Buble is running through my head this morning. I'm answering a plethora of email and wishing I was more motivated to do the Meijer thing.
Idaho was more than nice. Pretty great kick around time. Here, let me just quote my father:
"GreetingsThe K-Bar crew is back from a week in the Mountains. I and Herb Larsen left last Thursday to set up a three night camp just outside Salmon Idaho. Friday, we welcomed the Corps of Discovery II of the Lewis and Clark Expedition into Idaho on the 200th anniversary of Captain Lewis crossing the Lemhi pass and the Continental divide from Montana. There were about 400 people for the ceremony at the 7,500 ft pass including several assistant federal Department heads and representatives of the Indians for whom this moment 200 years ago was the beginning of the end of sovereignty. It took longer to set up this one day event than the whole 1803-1806 original expedition.I knew some of the reenactors who were portraying the men and woman of the expedition and had a little fun with the guy who was talking about the firearms of the expedition by pretending to be a very ignorant tourist. I started out with very simple questions and progressed to questions like what is the difference in the barrel bands between the 1777 Musket and the 1795 Musket the expedition carried. At this point a guy from Lansing who who was one of the reenactors and knew me stepped in and told the poor guy I was playing that I was ringer. We all had a good laugh.Friday night , Tonna , Meg , the Stones and Barb Larsen arrived at our Camp. Saturday we took them back to pass to see the sights, stopped in hot spring for a bath and attended a very well staged outdoor pageant-according to Meg the drama teacher- about the events of the Corps of Discovery coming into Idaho and returning Sacajawea to her people. Sunday we went over the Lost Trail pass into Montana and after gassing up at Sula proceeded to the primary objective of our expedition. Crossing the 101 mile Primitive Margruder Road from the vicinity of Darby Montana to Elk City Idaho. I stopped at the West Fork ranger station and was told the road was open but there was forest fire burning beside it about 30 miles in and not to tarry in that area. We did see the low intensity fire at that point and camped beside the Selaway River that night about 40 miles in. We did not have any problems with bears. The next day we crossed the Selway at Margruder bridge. The Forest Service closed the road about 15 minutes after went over it due another fire moving in from the west. This part of the road sounds like the roads you were on in Afghanistan Tom. The elevation went up to 8900 feet on my altimeter and the rocks were big and plentiful. It was 5 hours of second gear and occasional 4 wheel drive to get beyond the fire and into the vicinity of Red River Hot Springs where we camped. We did not have any problems with bears. In the morning we all went to the hot springs. It was not opened yet so I started to lead the senior citizens in the Army daily dozen calisthenics. The sight of us exercising in the parking lot convinced the owner to open early so not as to scare off other trade.We then checked out an old mining town named Dixie and proceeded on to Riggins Idaho.Uncle Greg, the Old House restaurant has new owners and the cobblers are not worth stopping for now.We proceeded on and camped at the Seven Devils Moutain. We were at 7,500 ft again and did have some critter in camp about 2:30 AM. I think it was cow or deer but the Larsens whose tent got sniffed think it was a bear. At any rate I did not shoot whatever it was. Again we had a forest fire to the west of us a few miles and Dr. Stone reported seeing flames about 4:00AM.We proceeded on to home Wednesday and tubed the same stretch of the Payette River with Meg that we had done with Sam, Mary and Barb.Thursday we tearfully put Meg on the plane to go back to Michigan."
Yeah, they actually weren't tearful, but it will be sad not to see them for another however many months. It was a good trip. It was fun to be with three couples who loved each other and the group in general so much. It was kinda odd to be hanging out with AARP members--my dad being the youngest at 57 and the very spry doctor Stone running up and down hills at the age of 72. But hey, it was a good time.
I'm usually not a car camping kind of girl, but this was really the only way to do it. We were going up and down between 2,000 and 8,000 feet every day. Gorgeous stuff. I have great pics that perhaps I'll manage to get up sometime soon.
It's weird, I'm used to being pretty completely wired and I was pretty completely unplugged for nearly two weeks. Heck, I didn't even see newspapers much less get near the internet or a cell phone. It felt fine until I came home to all five email accounts full of messages needing responses...
I finally finished Reading Lolita in Tehran by Azar Nafisi. I saw her speak twice last year and caught her lecture on Alice in Wonderland on NPR recently. Great stuff. Perhaps I'll pull some of my favorite passages later. Anyway, I also started reading Longitudes & Attitudes by....um...Thomas Freidline/Friedman. He's a Times columnist who basically gets to write whatever he wants (I suppose you get to do that when you have three Pulitzers under your belt) and this particular book is of his columns just before September 11, 2001 and then afterward. I think I need to go visit the library and get it to finish.
Current Mood:
sleepy
Huh? And I repeat, HUH?
Ok, so I'm in sunny Idaho (not unexpected)after a detour through Arizona (somewhat unexpected), and an earlier flight from AZ to ID that left me in the airport for hours and hours (unexpected) and am going camping(?), hiking(?), roadtripping (?) with three couples over 40 instead of reenacting(completely unexpected) and was awoken this morning by something that sounded like an airhorn being run over by a very large truck (rather unexpected).
I have to say, my life is rarely boring.
Ok, so the airhorn thing was a combination of rooster crows and goose honking outside my bedroom window. I'm pretty much ok with the camping thing, though slightly confused as to how it all came into being (and I have an earache which is NOT going to appreciate the altitude). But hey, I'll be bonding with my parentals, so all is well.
I also have interesting stories about Arizona's public transit system, but they will have to wait until a more appropriate time. Here's a teaser--they involve alcohol, possibly drugs, certainly race relations, military guys, a really old dude and kids standing in the street. Lord, I'm glad I don't have to ride busses often. I've done a lot of praying this week.
Current Mood:
mildly bemused
Is it Tuesday?
As I stared at the coffeemaker this morning waiting for it to magically dispense the elixir of life (and then realized I had neglected to turn it on), I realized I really like Jelly Belly jelly beans, but my own belly has become a bit too jelly. I suppose that means it's time to diet again. Shall I return to Weight Watchers? Shall I head to Atkins again? Perhaps just cut out sugar and processed foods (that certainly would take the calories down-- I have no time to cook this week). On other notes, I had no electricity when I came home last night. Then I had some. Then I had it in odd increments most places. A tree had grown around the wires and burned out one of three carrying lines, hence I had 2/3 of the power that should have been coming in and no way to make dinner. Sigh. I didn't even have salad makings. So I did what every sensible American does when food is needed fast and there's no microwave. I called for a pizza. I'm reasonably sure the box sitting near the trash is what inspired my coffee-scrying for a diet plan this morning. It's time for the set to be set up. Pray that gets done before I leave today. I have a nasty feeling the stairs aren't going to fit right.
Current Mood: working
How is it that I am equal parts Padme and Darth Vader?
Current Mood:
mildly insulted
You scored as Yoda.
Yoda
83%
Darth Vader
69%
Padme Amidala
69%
Obi Wan Kenobi
67%
Clone Trooper
64%
General Grievous
58%
Anakin Skywalker
56%
Emperor Palpatine
50%
Chewbacca
39%
Mace Windu
39%
R2-D2
39%
C-3PO
28%
Which Revenge of the Sith Character are you?created with
QuizFarm.com
If you give a kitten a marshmallow...
She's having a lot of fun with it. Which works out well for me because I was getting frustrated with her for continuously jumping on my keyboard as I try to type up the last of my MA stuff. How did I find this marshmallow? It was quietly hiding in the back of my cupboard by a can of tomato soup I had been saving for a stressful time such as this. It's a mini marshmallow.
Two snippets for you today:
From Matt Katz's column (I read him when I need a goofy view on dating hell):
"According to Money magazine, German singles go to Wal-Mart on Friday nights and put a red bow on their shopping cart. This has the dual purpose of helping singles find each other and making them feel as humiliated as possible as they spend Friday night with a bow on their cart shopping for dates at Wal-Mart.
If the bow thing doesn't work, singles also meet up at different "flirting points" offering sales on romantic items such as chocolate and, uh, cheese.
Moving on to a topic unrelated to eating milk products at dating events in mega-retail stores, let's talk polygamy."
From Well-Travled in Slate Magazine:
"Now, it's my belief that the State Department is comprised of well-meaning ninnies. Like the father of a luscious 16-year-old, the State Department is happiest when we're at home. I don't plan on being an "incident" used to terrify other travelers. But I'm a woman. Women need to "maintain security awareness" every time we go to the grocery store. To my knowledge, no one is issuing warnings about the perils of venturing to Wal-Mart."
Wal-Mart has featured heavily in my personal reading this week.
I have finished my soup and the kitten has the marshmallow ground into the fuzz behind her ear. Sigh.
I really want to go out for breakfast on Friday and have some of those fruit crepes Bob Evans has been advertising. Such little ambitions.
"
Current Mood:
rushed
Current Music:
Sticky kitten yowls
I should be writing my paper....
....but instead I ended up on Slate.com reading
http://www.slate.com/id/2123673/ the article on green collar crime. This lead me to www.wookiefetish.com (don't worry, no wookie sex). Check out baskettoss. And possibly the needy girl video-- tre 80s. Leave the rest of the site alone.
Current Mood: blah
