Shocking News!
I’ve decided I’m pregnant. Now I know this comes as a shock to those of you who know me and are familiar with the process of getting pregnant, but let’s think about this.
Today I puked after breakfast, my feet are swelling and my pants don’t fit right. I’m achy and tired. This brings me four options:
a) I have bird flu.
b) I have the flu.
c) Thanksgiving wasn’t as restful as anticipated and mildly scarring.
d) I’m pregnant.
Option A is not probable and would be really miserable given the holiday season that is upon us. Besides, I really don’t want to visit the CDC as a specimen. I’d much prefer the guided tour.
Option B is basically the same as Option A, minus the excitement of the CDC tour, plus the bonus of being plausible.
Option C would mean I have absolutely no hope of ever becoming a reasonable adult who does not get spoons shoved down her cleavage by strange women she has just met (and will probably never see again) at Thanksgiving dinners that turn into bridal showers and back. It would also mean I really did blow out my tire and arrive home two days later than expected. It would also mean I have one heck of a nasty case of food poisoning.
A-C also seem to imply dieting would be in order to fix the pants issue. I hate rice cakes. Unless I can butter them and sprinkle them with brown sugar.
Option D would result in a cute little poop machine nine months or so from now. Easily the most worthwhile reason to puke or collapse in exhaustion.
I really did have a great weekend (and have some great stories to go with it). Hope your holiday was happy and your breakfast is staying down!
Thanksgivng Plans
Ok, so my last post was indeed part of my worst fear—it was crazy cat lady. She was on The Simpsons last night.
It’s Thanksgiving break. I had such high hopes of pulling out the carpet in my back bedroom. I started it this weekend (I had a highly efficient Sunday evening), but realized that’s the one room with a pickled floor. Nope. Leaving the carpet for now and simply deep cleaning my bedroom.
Past that, I’ve been thinking a lot about skills I don’t have. I think I’ve got a pretty good set of life skills, but there are still a few which I just don’t have. For instance, I do not know how often I need to have my tires rotated or how to replace my windshield wipers (the latter is becoming imperative as part of the passenger side wiper is now hanging loosely over my windshield).
I also need to learn to make meatballs out of elk by Thursday.
Cats and Christmas
My cat is ridiculously interested in water. her head does this rotate, rotate, rotate thing until she's nearly upside down and starts to slip into the tub.
She figured out how to flush the toilet a while back. That was fun. All night. Then I started sleeping with that door shut and she seems to have lost that particular talent.
The highlight of her day is a shower. She sits between the fabric curtian and the plasitc one and bats at the water. Occasionally she falls in. That's fun.
Past that, I had a very exciting movie going experience on Friday. Amy & I went to see
Walk the Line over at NCG. About twenty minutes in, somebody burned popcorn, the fire alarms all went off, we sat there like cattle, we evacuated like cattle (without the smell), we decided to get a coffee. By the time we were walking by the back door, we could go back in, so we did. We sat down in our assigned seats, waited for the movie to begin again, it did. It was much further on than when we had left. They gave us raincheck tickets after the show. Conclusion:
Walk the Line has huge plot holes or those ten minutes were critical (go with choice 2).
Almost Time for a Weakend....
...Meg to collapse and sleep for a thousand years until a prince comes and chops down the large thorny hedge, battles the dragon and kisses her back from a death-like sleep.
Oh, wait, that's the Disney Sleeping Beauty. We cannot be confused at this point.
I do not sleep much right now and therefore neither am I managing much in the beauty department. One of my students compared me to a character from
The Exorcist ( she was joking; I was making a scary face while all dressed in black and encouraging a bunch of actors to be quiet backstage. But I do have some serious stress skin issues and dark circles going).
Tuesday was the worst of it. I got to school at 6:30, taught all day, then rehearsed until 11:30ish. Finally got out of there at twelve. Got home about twenty minutes later and stuck an eggroll in the microwave. Had so much glue on me I had to shower. Showered and then was too sleepy to stay up and properly eat the eggroll, so I took it to bed with me and ate it while I set my alarms. I was aware enough to know that it's pretty weird to eat an eggroll in bed, but I was just so happy to have food and be home I just chowed and hoped I finished swallowing before I fell asleep.
Wednesday morning after the storm the power was out in Holt. School was cancelled. Now I had overslept and not made it in to Menard's until 6:10, so when I arrived at seven and discovered there was no power, well, my main concern was that the coffee maker wasn't going to work. And I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeded coffee. One of the moms dropping a kid off handed me an extra she was holding. I will be forever grateful for that warm cuppa joe. If she ever needs a kidney, I'm there.
Anyway, Holt High School had the day off,
I worked seven to seven. I'd be bitter, but I managed to doze off while I wasn't needed in the seats during part of the first act.
As for Tom, he's in Germany. That's all they're telling me.
As for Gram, she's home and herself.
As for everything else, I think it's going pretty well. But I will not be part of doing rehearsals like this next year.
As for the girl-power Slate article I linked to, the reason I said she needed an online dating experience was that often that kind of complete stranger will make you aware that the things
you think are wrong with you are not the same things that
they think are wrong with you. It's an enlightening experience.
On other subjects, somewhere in the past week while I was dashing about purchasing props, I picked up The WORST-CASE SCENARIO Survival Card Game. Strangely, most of it is not new information. Some of my favorite scenarios that I have been a part of or guessed correctly include:
How to follow up on a superficial head wound (thank you Emily)
How to open most locked interior doors (thank you Tom)
How to dress for a sandstorm (it ain't in heels and pearls)
How to prevent intruders from entering your hotel room while you sleep (thank you random thief in Zanzibar)
How to tip for restaurant service in Germany (thanks team)
How to walk through bear country (thank you posted sign in the Idaho rest stop)
Unfortunately, I did not know how to avoid a bar fight in Australia or how to safely ride an elevator. I have actually done one of those last two unsafely. Your guess which.
After a couple of weeks of stress, things seem to be looking up. There's still too much to do for the musical. We open Thursday with the Parent Show Tuesday. Oh dear.
Tom seems to be doing well. His general need to be out and about is showing, but Liesel is a bonus and he'll move back to Germany today.
Gram is home and cheerful by all reports (I still haven't managed to talk to her personally).
My teeth still hurt. I'm not sure if it's a heat/cold thing or a cavity, but it needs to become a priority.
This little article struck me as insightful, but also a bit alarmist. I went to four of them, and not one was like the proms described in the article. Now that could have been a function of who my parents are and who I am, the school I was at and/or the guys I went with, but boy, I certainly see bits of this where I am now. Perhaps if I get ambitious I'll post former prom pics. I had very short hair, not my best moment.
And
this one is just funny. Perhaps more funny-peculiar that funny-ha-ha. I have strong opinions on this particular topic, but I think I'll just end this morning's post by saying I think she needs an online dating experience.
Ok, off I go to mold young minds. BWAH HA HAH HA HAAAAAAAAAA!
