Shocking News!
I’ve decided I’m pregnant. Now I know this comes as a shock to those of you who know me and are familiar with the process of getting pregnant, but let’s think about this.Today I puked after breakfast, my feet are swelling and my pants don’t fit right. I’m achy and tired. This brings me four options:
a) I have bird flu.
b) I have the flu.
c) Thanksgiving wasn’t as restful as anticipated and mildly scarring.
d) I’m pregnant.
Option A is not probable and would be really miserable given the holiday season that is upon us. Besides, I really don’t want to visit the CDC as a specimen. I’d much prefer the guided tour.
Option B is basically the same as Option A, minus the excitement of the CDC tour, plus the bonus of being plausible.
Option C would mean I have absolutely no hope of ever becoming a reasonable adult who does not get spoons shoved down her cleavage by strange women she has just met (and will probably never see again) at Thanksgiving dinners that turn into bridal showers and back. It would also mean I really did blow out my tire and arrive home two days later than expected. It would also mean I have one heck of a nasty case of food poisoning.
A-C also seem to imply dieting would be in order to fix the pants issue. I hate rice cakes. Unless I can butter them and sprinkle them with brown sugar.
Option D would result in a cute little poop machine nine months or so from now. Easily the most worthwhile reason to puke or collapse in exhaustion.
I really did have a great weekend (and have some great stories to go with it). Hope your holiday was happy and your breakfast is staying down!
posted by Me @ 15:09
2 Comments:
Congratulations. Have you started thinking of names yet?
Puking after breakfast? Swollen Feet? Pants don’t fit correctly?That sounds like all eight years of college to me.
Congratulations, I guess?
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