Meg's Musings

The Great Green Tea Review

Over the past few months I began a quest to curb my consumption of caffeine. It began with a lament something like this:

“Ah coffee! Nectar of the gods! Thou hast betrayed mecaffeinateded I am too full of vim to be tolerated by surly high schoolers in the golden hours of the afternoon! Decaffeinated you are but a hollow shell of the rich flavorful beverage I adore. How shall I assuage my longing for you?”

The answer came in tandem from my doctor (who also saw a large cup twice a day as too much for a perky person such as myself) and a dietician friend who confirmed green tea as a suitable alternative.

Yet this was not enough. Though I had two very good references, I simply could not bring myself to betray the rich dark liquid that had gotten me through so many early mornings, insured my water had been boiled in foreign lands and tasted so smooth on my tongue. It took a trip to Grand Rapids and an afternoon with a long time friend and tconnoisseurure to convince me perhaps tea did indeed smell as good as my beloved java and did not taste entirely like a cup of yard work.

And so my journey of a thousand tealeaves began with a single cup of Peach Kiwi Green. Since that day, I have been trying teas wherever I could get them (well, I still won’t pay for a cup out. Out is for Fancy-Frou-Frou-Coffee-of-The-Highest-Order.). I have tried all manner of teas, but I’m afraid I still find many of them utterly forgettable. Here are the ones I can remember, sorted by brand, caffeine, taste and enjoyment:

Liptons
Orange, Passion fruit & Jasmine: This tea smells like fruitcake and my grandmother. She smells somewhat tropical, so that’s a good thing. It kinda tastes like orange and kind of like Bath & Body Works, but not as soapy. It does not get very strong and I liked that. I actually went out and bought a whole box to keep on hand. E-Rating: Yummy

Plain Green Tea.: Tasted like I’d forgotten to put in flavor, then became very sharp and leafy. The only package I actually threw out. E-Rating: I’d rather drink hot water.

Lemon Ginseng: A light lemony flavor over the green tea mentioned above which surprisingly not only made it bearable but actually desirable. Finished the package quickly. I’m also wondering if it had slightly higher caffeine content than the others, because I sure was cheerful. E-Rating: Invigoratingly Pleasant.

Honey: Completely un-honeylike, but passable when I was running low on other preferred flavors. I think it’s kinda like fake watermelon flavoring; everybody knows it’s not what watermelons taste like, but it’s good anyway. E-Rating: I wouldn’t buy it again, but more pleasant than burned coffee.


Mint: It tastes like watery mint. Not unpleasant, but not remarkable and kinda a let down. I expected more of a tingly feeling of mint, but instead got a slightly toothpaste-y beverage. Do not let this tea cool. E-Rating: Passable.

Mixed Berry: Fruity and fun, I’d drink this any day. Still, it didn’t taste fruity enough from fruit or tea-y enough for tea. An interesting beverage and probably my favorite of the bunch. E-Rating: Yummy

Final Comment for Lipton: What is a “flavonoid”?

Celestial Seasonings

Green Tea: Good grief people! What did you put in this stuff? It seemed to constantly steep quickly. It was either water or sharp enough to melt my spoon. E-Rating : No, no, no! Bad tea!

Honey Lemon Ginseng: Preferred to Lipton’s, but that might be a packaging issue. I kinda think I should have steeped a bag of the homey and a bag of the LG of Lipton’s together to really get a fair comparison, but as I usually grimace a bit getting the first sips down, why do that to myself? E-Rating: Passably Yummy?

Chamomile: One should not drink weeds. Period. Not even worth rating as it was so close to the taste I get when mowing in the fall.

Raspberry Gardens: OOOOoooooo! Me likey! This one smells like really real raspberries and tastes kinda like them too! Right up there with the mixed berry.
E-Rating: Double Yummy.

Decaf Mandarin Orchard: Prior to this experiment, orange was the only tea I could get down of my own free will without a significant social encouragement (i.e. my Egyptian land lady inviting me down for tea and then expecting that I actually drink some). This did not disappoint. Perfect for cold afternoons in the classroom when I had a second cuppa joe at breakfast. E-Rating: Tired and true, I really like the stuff.

Decaf Mint: See the Lipton description of mint tea. No mint for me methinks.

Final Comment to CS: The beauty of your boxes will keep me coming back. They are a joy to behold and make my cabinet perkier.

Salada

Green Tea with Purple Anti-Oxidants: Um, this smells like blueberry from 18 inches away. Unfortunately, it just tastes like tea. May have a second life as sachets for my drawers. E-Rating: Very nice in the first-date-with-a guy-who-would-be–perfect-for-my-best-friend way.


So darling joe, have no fear, I’m still thoroughly in love with all your flavors. I shall not forsake French Vanilla or Toffee, Mackinaw Island Fudge or Crème Brule, Morning Blend or Fair Trade Rwandan. Afternoons I must slip my glass a bag of different brew, but I am yours until the clock strikes twelve.

posted by Me @ 15:44