Meg's Musings

Bad

I'm sitting here tonight feeling bad. Not bad like MSU issues bad or I- stuck-my-toenails-to-the-carpet bad, but EVIL bad. You see, today was a makeup lab with my THR PRD kids.

We started little. I applied a gash to my hand and then made it infected and added stitches and bruising. The kids followed suit.

Then we did bruises and black eyes. I'm tired of doing bruises and sick of making black eyes so I decided to give myself a challenge. I rolled the putty and applied just over my eyebrow and down the right side of my face in a deformed, upside down, Y-shape. I smoothed the edges into my own skin and dented a line down the center of the Y. I dabbed reddish lipstick into the wound and started shading the area around it with yellows and greens, then edged a large area with dark pink lipstick and purple and blue eyeshadow. The result was ghastly.

Class ended and my students went off covered in bruises and black eyes, puss-filled cuts and burn scars. I ran out of time and had to go teach without cleaning off my own demo. I quickly forgot I was wearing the prosthestic and kept being surprised when people reacted to my presence by doing a double take.

Now you have to understand, I have struggled all my life with self-editing--stopping those words which should not come out of my mouth before they burst off my tongue and maim someone. But sometimes that little shield that covers my wicked side slips and I'm left in the rather unusual position of realizing I've said entirely too much. Then all that's left to do is decide whether to apologize profusely or enjoy the mayhem.

I've been reading David Sedaris' Me Talk Pretty One Day. He has a sister who does not edit. In fact she has chosen to make life a piece of avant-garde performance art. He relates how she once yelled back at him as she was leaving the subway "Good luck beating those rape charges!"
This is funny, but not quite enough for my to play her game. It's the next incident he relates that got me in trouble today.

She was chosen as one of NY City's most interesting women. Rather than getting her hair and makeup done to perfection, she told the artist to make her look like someone had beaten the s**t out of her and they did a very good job of it. When someone on the street would ask her what had happened she'd reply "I'm in love! I'm finally really, truly in love!" and enjoy the horrified stares.

You can see where this is going.

I took off the putty portion before leaving school but left the bruising and a bit of discoloration. I completely forgot about it until I was in a store and the shopkeeper asked what had happened. Without a thought, I turned to her with a radiant smile and said, "I love him! He's just simply wonderful! I'm finally really, truly in love!"

There was a split second while her ears communicated with her brain and her brain had a few choice words with each and every one of her facial muscles. I was struck with a barely contained half giggle and then full-on remorse. I apologized and explained myself, then left quickly.

What an awful thing to do to her, but it was so much evil fun!

posted by Me @ 21:08