Meg's Musings

Father Figures

I ended up with a really good one. My dad is loving, caring, articulate, interested. He's a lawyer and taught me how to argue and think. He's an outdoorsman who taught me to love the created world. He's a husband who has stayed in love with his wife for 37 years. He's helped me do things he'd much rather I didn't. HE calls ME almost every week.

I won't pretend he's perfect--he's got his own agenda, is occasionally stubborn as a mule and I know he has his own set of fears, flaws and issues. He's just plain weird. Honestly, I like his weird though. Who else can get that excited about a reenactment?

They say a child's father dramatically impacts a person's view of God. I think it's been easy to love and trust God in large part because I easily love and trust my dad.

In one day I had two students bring very personal things about their dads to me. And neither was good. Ouch. Ouch. And ouch.

Fathers and future fathers, tell your children you love them. Teach them what you know. Spend the time. Tell them when you see them doing something good. Ask to look at their school work and praise them for the good stuff, help them with the stuff that they aren't getting. Give them grace when they aren't good at something. Tell your girl she's growing into a fine woman. Be specific about what you find fine-womanish about her--her caring heart, her help around the home, her choice of reading material, her service to others, her pursuit of God, her love of justice, perhaps her athletic ability. Compliment the surfacey stuff too. Don't forget your daughter needs to believe there is beauty in her--not just that deep inner beauty of character, but that she has chosen a pretty color of toenail polish and has done something nice with her hair. Tell your son he doesn't have to be you to be accepted. Find out how he's defining manhood and help him bring that in line with godly manhood. Compliment him. Ask how he FEELS about things--don't let his feelings be the domain of his mother.

Be the father first, friend if you can. Say no.

Heck, a father who reads is more predictive than any other factor in literacy rates.

Men in general: You are a role model. Get used to it. Be kind to the cashier kid. Realize the high school kid in the lobby is listening to how you joke. Somebody is watching how you interact. And you're changing their paradigm.

posted by Me @ 19:31