Tiredness and Tics
So here's my question: Is letting yourself get overly exhausted a sin?
I hear a lot from preachermen (or persons) about sloth and using time well, but Noel's sermon on things we do too much of and things we do too little of has got me thinking. I think there is a lack of preaching on this exhaustion issue (or it has all fallen on deaf ears and I am only now at a place where I can hear), and part of the lack of preaching on overcommitment leading to exhaustion may be because the ministry commits this grieveous error all too often. Martha-ness is rampant. Now I think I've thought this through before, but still take it casually as an accepted part of modern American life & culture. There's always something more to do.
But this is what gets me: When I am too tired, I eat crap, don't formally excercise, take longer getting kids stuff back to them, watch my weight vacilate (usually up ten or down ten, depending on where I am in the stress cycle. Lately it's been dropping again, but not in a good way and that also concerns me), I have less time for friends or building into people, just do the minimum on house and yard work...etc.
There's been a part of me that has grieved QL, but there's also a big part that is so happy not to be thinking about it. I actually feel closer to God now that I'm not having to pencil him in just to get time. He's not really someone that should need penciling in. He's much more a highlighter type--over the pencils and ink and all that in between. Is God more pleased when I do less?
Here's another thing. I'm doing a long distance relationship and I think that's a God thing. I can't feel guilty for not seeing him during the week. I don't need to be concerend when I'm covered in paint and smell like organic glues that I need to be somewhere for a dinner date in half an hour. I'm managing my time better to allow for weekends away and making sure my work is done before the phone rates go down at nine. This is good. I like changing patterns.
So that's me. I'm going home to make an actual dinner. And grade only two dozen papers tonight. Then I will stop and be. Be what? Not sure. Just be.
This may be stretching.
Merry Megness!
I had a great weekend. David was up here for the first time since he moved to Cincinnati in December. We went to the play, we had brunch with Amy & Greg, we went to Riverview, we wandered about Lansing... For those of you out of the loop (which is most everybody since I’ve been so busy and I’m always slightly surprised when I’m in a relationship that’s actually working out.), he’s a chemist for Proctor & Gamble, we met last spring but didn’t hit it off, he called in October and we did. Things seem to be going well despite having to conduct the romance across state lines.
Since I can’t really do the whole thing justice and am quite limited by time this morning, here is a duet of snapshots:
#1
Scene: At King Kong, waiting for the movie to start. A fact shows up on the screen that says for every seven words a woman says, men only average three.
Meg: Do you think that applies to us?
David(without even trying) Seems about right.
#2
Scene: A beautiful park in Bowling Green, Ohio. The sun is shining. The golfers are golfing. Meg & Dave are seated in a pine grove. As the joggers jog by, their heads swivel, expecting to see something. What do they see? A youngish couple sitting close together looking at paint chips. Ah, bliss!
So AF has closed and it was one of our best acted ever and had a beautifully slipcovered couch and CB is in the works and I am so tired but not so tired that I lose all sense of humor except when sophmore parents whom I called on Friday to inform their students didn't have rough drafts call me today angry that their children didn't turn the final in today and I won't give them full credit if they hand it to me tomorrow. Tut-tut. That does make me boil-y.
Speaking of boils, I got a sliver of wood in my finger some time last week and now it is big and purple an pus-y. How gross is that? I feel the need to wear gloves.
Be nice to teenagers who are juniors this week. They're taking the MEAP. I have a kid taking it with me who had my mother in sixth grade. He says she was the coolest teacher ever. I'm afraid I don't live up to that, but the techies make me feel loved.
Still, it's been an OK day. I'm ready to go home and make myself some chicken and veggies, perhaps a nap and then grading a dozen or so papers.
Hope all is as sunny wherever you are.
I 'zausted
Yep. And I've developed a tic. In my left eyelid. No one knows it's there but me and all the people I can't help telling because I'm so shocked that I could ever, possibly, under any circumstances develop this uncontrolled physical reaction to stress. I can cry on cue, not cry because it's inconvenient, hold in a fart and tell a bold-face lie without flinching (I only use this last to tell women who are already dressed that they look fabulous on major life occasions). So what's with the crazy lady twitch?
Next thing you know I'll be drooling in my coffee.
Ok. So. It's H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks week. AF opens kinda tomorrow and really on Thursday and only some things are going well. Why are there no windows I ask you? Why? Where are my natural sponges? Where? How will the Styrofoam stand up? Ho...Well, you get the point.
I also love my church, but all I could think of as I was sitting in service on Saturday before seeing the Academy Award-winning "Crash" with my roommate & fiance and after putting a freezer in my basement was that the new graphic looked so much like a slice of white bread. Bordered with Grecian columns of course, but still white bread. Unplanned subliminal message? Is my world back to being too white bread?
Ok. Night, night before my head explodes. Explosions are messy and I don't want to have to clean anything else tonight.
As I got out of the shower at 5:21 I started to feel intensely jealous of Joey. At 5:38 as I finished applying gunk to my hair,I considered calling to congratulate him.
His superintendent called off school because of the ice storm before mine did. But hey, it's done. I'm a happy camper.
This is such a blessing and comes at such a perfect time. The play is three weekends away and the choir festival was going to be in the way of me teaching today (hmm. I wondeer how all the choir folk are doing.). And I won't even lose a day of tech b/c it had been moved for the fest.
Amy can attest to the fact that I've been running ragged lately. But she's also lived with me long enough to be able to remind me that it goes in cycles. I'll be over committed until May, then I'll be at a reasonable level until June at which point I'll be so undercommitted it'll be funny. I'll spend the summer swinging back and forth between doing interesting things in small spurts and trying not to commit to long-term activities that I can't sustain once October gets here.
I will finish all my essays today. I will grade the short scenes. I will organize my bills. I will prepare meals. I will simply sit and have a long quiet time and pray then I will nap with my cat. I haven't had a day that's really off in what seems like a really long time...it will be so good.
