It is snowing today. Today is October 11. OCTOBER!!!! Under our agreement fo rme to live here, I am to put up with a number of gray, drizzly, wet days throughout the year. You, on the other hand, are to have a reasonably short, mildish winter to start no sooner than American Thanksgiving Day.
You have clearly overstepped your bounds and I insist that you cease and desist with the snowing immediately and return to the crisp autumn days that are scheduled for early October.
Sincerely,
Meg
Dear Meg,
While we understand your concern about the early onset of snow this season, if you refer to the clause on page 321.5.46.21.2.1, subset B of So You've Decided to Say Yes! to Michigan, you will notice that in the event of an excess stock of specific weather patterns, Michigan reserves the right to use that excess at its discretion.
Today we chose to utilize our overstock of snow in hopes of setting a new record. We are sure you can appreciate the unique opportunity to be a part of the earliest onset of snow in Michigan history.
Regards,
The State of Michigan
Dear Michigan,
I couldn't care less about your stupid record. I want to go to a cider mill and pick apples tomorrow. When you decided to snow early did you think about the fruit farmers? Tell me, did you!?!
Snow is for white Chirstmases and swearing at in January. How many Christmases have you ruined by bad management of the snow and frost? How many fruit farmers' children will go without a dancing Elmo doll this Christmas because of your bad management?
Sincerely,
Meg
Dear Meg,
Nee-ner-nee-ner-nee-ner. Your indignant tone incites us to taunt you.
Are you not the same teacher woman who rejoices at snow days and likes to sled? You've had a good summer. Let it go at that.
--Michigan
Dude,
You are soooooo not getting me a snow day out of this. I repeat, you are way outside your jurisdiction and I will take further action if you don't cut it out and have the snow out of here by Saturday morning. You've got 36 hours.
--Meg
posted by Me @ 18:52
1 Comments:
Dear Michigan,
You snowed 70 bloody feet last year. Isn't one record a decade enough?
Send some of that stuff my way,
Sincerely,
Pittsburgh
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