Saturday, April 02, 2005

Grumpy

I am like a droppy flower today. Somewhere between Eeyore and Oscar. Just generally irriatable and morose. I went to the memorial service today. I'm glad I went but it made me sad. How does someone get so sad that life isn't worth living? How can someone believe the only person they belong to is him or herself? What about all the peole in theri lives? Where is God in that? Yet at the same time, I know I miss a lot of chances to help and cheer those I love, much less those I only casually meet. I just want heaven on earth I suppose. Knowing that all of these problems are small potatos compared to things many people are dealing with, it's still just sad.Anyway, this time last year I was headed out to see my baby bro in CA. It was a good time. This year I have all sorts of little things to take care of here. Makes sense. It surprises me that Im not really looking forward to the social engagements of the week though. I'm just too tired at the moment. I had a nice night with Andrea last night. It's good to be with an old friend. What should I do for my birthday? 30 will be the year to do a full event, but perhaps I should do something to commemorate my last birthday in my 20s.I have more thoughts to share, but no energy to type them. bye bye

Current Mood: grumpy

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