Meg's Musings

I Can Believe It's Not Butter

I'm not really one for "diet" food products. I usually prefer a smaller amount of the real thing but I miss butter. Real, creamy butter on bread. On Cream of Wheat. On Ralston Whole Wheat cereal. On Oatmeal.

Obviously, the craving trend is morning foods. And those of you that have seen me try to function before coffee can probably imagine how well self control goes at that point.

So I've been looking into alternatives. Powdered Molly McButter is gross beyond words. I do not have adjectives at my disposal to throughly communicate the utter grossisity. Margarine is nearly as bad as butter.

As I was standing in Meijer pondering this quandry, much to my suprise, I noticed a butter-like product that was advertised as "Fat Free". My mind reeled in shock and amazment-- how can this be? A fat substitute with no fat. This is very, very wrong.

I picked up a tub and started to read. Five calories. A fair amount of other gunk. I mentally shrugged and put it in my basket.

Two conversations about the product:

Me: So I found this butter stuff with no fat.
Amy: Huh?
M: Yeah, it doesn't really melt but otherwise is a lot like butter.
A:Are you still gonna eat it?


Me: I bought "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" with no fat.
David: So what is it?
M: I think it's gelatin. Like butter Jello.
D: Jello?
M: Yeah, it kinda jiggles and bounces back when I touch it.
D: That's just wrong.
M: I know, but it's still good.
D: So you CAN believe it's not butter.
M: You're so witty. And smooth. Like butta.
D: Or Jello butta.

So yes, indeed it is a good butter-like substance that I will not eat too much of so I will not have three children sharing one torso. Yes, indeed I can believe it's not butter.

posted by Me @ 22:09