Monday, October 03, 2005

Pants

I destroy pants at the same rate that a two year old destroys highly valuable glass objects. My name inspires terror in all the pantzing nations. Mother pants tell their little knickers horrible stories about me to keep them behaving properly.

I rip them on exposed screws. I stain them with coffee and dirt. I drip paint, paste, wall sizing and substances unknown upon them.

So I buy cheap, comfortable pants from Old Navy or Target. I never pay more than $30 for any pair and usually look for fashions under $20 that are still fashionable.

I was buying pants yesterday. I do this alone. I do not ask people if the pants make my backside look large. I am aware it is large and camoflage can only do so much. I found a really good sale on $15 pants.

However, when a pair of pants makes me think perhaps I need a few more thongs in my wardrobe, all is not well.

I bought the $17 pairs instead.

They're soft like flannel sheets already.

I really like the colors.

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