Meg's Musings

Bloggers Beware

I don’t blog so that people can get to know me. I’m aware there are those who are quietly skulking in the blogosphere, but they’re the nosebleed seats. They see vague outlines, but unless they find a way to use binoculars, they won’t see much.

I blog so that those who know me can keep connected in the hectic whirlwinds of our lives. The levels of friendship are not categorized, but it amuses me how much different the interpretations of what I write are based on who’s reading them. Many of you extrapolate a light comment into my deeper issue (right or wrong, you’re always interesting). Many are just amused and move on. Some are putting the pieces together and I’m impressed by the pictures you toss back at me.

But here’s the catch; this is my blog and it’s in a public forum. In a very The Outer Limits-esque/”We control your television”-manner, I control what you see of me. Being transparent is a good thing, but not when that transparency is dangerous to others. And ultimately I don’t think everyone should know my every thought or feeling. There are reasons we call it intimacy and reserve it for those who are close.

If internet dating has taught me anything, it’s that connections forged through a computer screen are limited and in large part creations of whoever is reading’s mind .

*****Side note: a new study discovered teachers are the profession most likely to use an online dating service. To that I say “duh!” The majority of males I’m around on an average day are zitty 16 year olds. Ick. Men my own age have enough issues, thank you very much. But I digress. *****

I’ve met guys who were being incredibly humble about the whole thing and were much more Mr. Wonderful in person than a profile would suggest. Still, the controlled image is dangerous. Flaws can be covered up. Genuine answers can be recalculated to please. I’m not at the same risk as a twelve year old, but it’s worth looking for the subtext of the writing before beginning to think I know someone via the internet.

Any connection felt through this blog is superficial. You get some of what’s in my head, but not a ton of context. You miss my tones, my facial expressions, my body language. I might get a comment back, but it’s thought out in the wait time and not that instantaneous magic that is a meaty, real conversation. If you chose to give any at all, I miss your verbal cues and feedback. This just isn’t a substitute.

Heck, I’ll admit I skulk. I’ve got a fair number of blogs I stop by regularly. Don’t even know some of the people. Probably never will. Won’t leave a comment unless something really strikes a cord. Might wish I could go out for Southwest Egg rolls with a couple of them. Might send virtual flowers at some point. But I won’t pretend I really “get” them or that it would be OK for me to call them up for egg rolls or send real flowers.

I’m not a Gen-Xer trying to be heard. I’m not a single woman trying to fill an empty house. I’m not a militant trying to convert you to my ideologies (most of the time;). I’m not trying to be deep or even thoughtful as I stuff my words onto the screen. Use this for its entertainment value. Use it to figure out what rabid rats have been frolicking on the treadmill of my brain. But if you really want to know, let’s go have coffee. Or tea. Or grape leaves. Or Crunchy Burgers before they go out of business. Or Ethiopian food. Let’s be real people. I’m missing you.

posted by Me @ 16:31